Talk:Alpha 76/@comment-2000765-20130218020941

Not bad. Nice story you've got going here. There are somethings, however, that could stand improvement. One of them is your sentence fragments, trying linking some of the sentences together. For example:

"Clone took off in a gunship called The Twi'lek and landed on the Geonosian arena. They rescued what Jedi they could and took off on the outer land. The entire Droid Army had been there. They attack the army and made them run in a full retreat. This was a victory, but this had started the Clone Wars."

This could be made more fluent: "As they began deploying troops to liberate the planet, Clone took off in a gunship called The Twi'lek and landed on the Geonosian arena. Once they rescued what Jedi they could and took off on the outer land, the entire Droid Army had been there and the clones began to attack the army and made them run in a full retreat. Though it was a victory, but this had started the Clone Wars."

Just small things like that. And you don't need to continually keep begging people to rate you and your houses. Desperation like that is usually the reason why some people don't rate you, plus it kind of distracts the reader from the story. Otherwise, nice page! :)